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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Crippled At Christmas Cartoons 2015


CRIPPLED AT CHRISTMAS 2015
A slightly off color snarky cartoon collection starring a team of delightfully disabled friends. I'm thrilled to share the holiday season with you through the eyes of exquisitely drawn gimpy stick figures. Please enjoy this politically incorrect celebration of Christmas fun. Some of us are not "dashing through the snow" and this year, we will be heard! (Image descriptions are located below each corresponding, poorly drawn cartoon).

On the first day of Christmas…

Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair wearing a Santa cap. Beside him is a piece of paper resembling a letter. A bubble reads “Dear Disabled Friend, we look forward to harassing you in 2016. Until then, enjoy your poverty.” Headline above the drawing says: THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT OF ALL WAS NOT GETTING REVIEWED AT SOCIAL SECURITY THIS MONTH.


On the second day of Christmas…

Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair wearing a Santa hat. Thought bubble reads: “Finally! Something we can all get behind”. Next to her are two holiday themed cups that say “Christmas crippacino.” Headline above the drawing says: THE DISABILITY PRIDE CUPS AT STARBUCKS CAPTURED THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT IN A WAY THE PLAIN RED ONES COULD NOT.

On the third day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair is seated near Santa who is enjoying cookies on a table. Santa’s thought bubble says, “I just love that delicious rehab catalog taste!” The wheelie’s thought bubble says, “Money well spent!”
Text below has a comparison of “typical” cookie cutters ($15) and “adaptive” ones, which are slightly easier to manipulate ($45, + “special fees”)
Headline on top says: SHE JUSTIFIED THE OVERPRICED ADAPTED COOKIE CUTTERS BY CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SANTA WOULD TASTE THE DIFFERENCE.

On the fourth day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair near a bed. Surrounded by music notes, it reads “He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake.” Wheelie’s thought bubble says: I swear; I’m still below the resource limit! And frankly, I wish you’d stop monitoring my sleep schedule.
Headline on top: NO ONE KNEW IF THE LYRICS REFERRED TO SANTA OR A MEDICAID CASE MANAGER…

On the fifth day of Christmas…
Image- a newspaper titled the North Pole Daily bears the headline "Santa demand easier access, says Easter Bunny has had it for years." Beside that is a picket sign that has the words "down the chimney" crossed out and replaced with "down with the chimney!” Headline above: SANTA’S NEW CAUSE, THE COALITION FOR ACCESSIBLE CHIMNEYS, WAS GAINING TRACTION IN THE PRESS.

On the sixth day of Christmas…
Image- Dasher the reindeer beside his little known cousin Limper. Limper’s thought bubble reads “Oh well. Maybe next year, there will be a progressive Christmas special. Then, I'll be famous.” Dasher’s thought bubble reads, “Sorry, cousin. Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway." Headline above: – DASHER HAD A LITTLE KNOWN COUSIN NAMED LIMPER.

On the seventh day of Christmas… Image- Stick figure in a wheelchair seated by a large Christmas tree. Sign nearby says "This holiday, what better way to say ‘I love you’ then a new shower chair? Prices lowered from obscene to upsetting for this joyous season." The stick figure’s thought bubble says “Honestly, I was hoping for an Xbox.” Headline above: DESPITE WHAT THE DURABLE MEDICAL VENDOR SUGGESTED, MY DISABLED FRIEND WAS NOT IN FACT DYING FOR A SHOWER CHAIR BENEATH THE TREE.



 On the eighth day of Christmas… Image- The spotted elephant and the train with square wheels from the movie Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer at a demonstration. The elephant is holding a sign that says “Santa, I don’t need your approval!” and the train is saying “Square wheels. No big deal!” Lower caption says: The Island of Misfit Toys: An Empowered Living Community. Top headline says: THE MISFIT TOY PRIDE MOVEMENT REALLY SPOILED THE STORY LINE.


On the ninth day of Christmas… Image- An ambulatory stick figure with a thought bubble that says "That ramp was delicious! Always the best part!" He is standing beside a gingerbread house decorated with candy. From inside, a voice says "Well, I’m screwed!” Headline above: THE DISABLED GINGERBREAD MAN WAS IN DEEP TROUBLE WHEN SOMEONE ATE HIS RAMP.



 On the tenth day of Christmas…

Image- A snowman walking in winter weather with two crutches resembling candy canes. The thought bubble above his head says “Candy Crutch Saga!” and is filled with dollar signs. Headline says: THE DISABLED SNOWMAN TURNED HIS STRUGGLES TO WALK ON ICY DAYS INTO A WILDLY SUCCESSFUL APP.

On the eleventh day of Christmas…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair is lying face down in the snow near a caption that says: fall count: 42. New record! His thought bubble reads “Damn snow!” Headline above: FOR THE WOBBLY FRIENDS WITH CP (CEREBRAL PALSY), "RECORD SNOWFALL HAD A DIFFERENT MEANING.



On the twelfth day of Christmas (or New Year’s Eve)…
Image- A stick figure in a wheelchair in a New Year's Eve party hat. Next to her is a sign that reads “Make your predictions about paratransit fails in 2016. Together, we will watch the ball drop!” Her thought bubble reads “I highly doubt that your lateness was part of a ‘Drop the Ball’ New Year’s theme night.” Headline above: IT SEEMED THAT NEW YEAR’S EVE WASN’T THE ONLY DAY PARATRANSIT DROPPED THE BALL…