Spring has sprung, and with it comes prom season.
Unfortunately, prom season usually means “sunny, with a chance of inspiration
porn.” Inspiration porn is patronizing media that portrays disabled people as
heroic and inspiring simply for existing and doing things that non-disabled
people are expected to do. If you don’t think you’ve encountered it, you
probably have and not yet realized it. Inspiration porn is usually served with
maudlin music or a corny quote. You may be wondering, “If it makes people feel
good, then what’s the big deal?” The thing is, on the surface, this type of
media may appear to be uplifting. At first glance, you may think it promotes
inclusion. But if you dig a little deeper, there’s nothing feel good about it
at all.
Let’s take for example I meme that my friend recently found
on Facebook. The image shows a young able-bodied man dressed in a prom tuxedo,
holding hands with a young woman seated in a power wheelchair and wearing a
pink dress. In white letters, the text reads: “He asked her to prom, even in
her condition! Like and share= respect.” Excuse me while I gag. What’s wrong
with this meme? Where to begin…
It reflects low
expectations for people with disabilities.
Going to prom or a school dance is often a tradition for
high school students. If the fact that a disabled student attended the prom is
still making waves on the Internet, then we as a society have very low
expectations for what disabled people will do and accomplish. Memes like this
one present participation and inclusion as an exception. They suggest that
disabled people don’t usually belong in the community. Our participation should
not be so unusual that it warrants media attention. We are not visitors to your
community from some faraway planet or elusive creatures generally seen only in
folklore. We are here in your schools, your workplaces, and your neighborhoods.
Save your shock for “Local Girl Rides Unicorn to School Dance.” People in
wheelchairs are quite boring in comparison.
It elevates the
non-disabled to “hero status” for treating us like human beings.
The meme’s insistence that this young man deserves “respect”
for asking this young woman to prom implies that he must be a “special kind of
person” for even being with a disabled person. By this logic, disabled people
are ordinarily undesirable and anyone who thinks otherwise must possess
exceptional strength of character. If sharing romance, friendship, or
even simple kindness with a disabled person is considered an indicator of
superhuman benevolence, the message is that we are not deserving of basic human
connection. It is absurd and insulting for the maker of this meme to put the
boy on a pedestal for merely being with his prom date. The praise he receives
for taking her as his date “in spite of
her condition” very plainly suggests that a disability is normally an
expected and even understandable reason to dismiss someone as unattractive and
unworthy.
It creates an “us”
and “them” mentality.
The text asks the cyber audience to show the boy respect for
asking her to prom. By treating the disabled girl as “the other,” validated
only by the non-disabled boy’s goodness, she is not presented as part of the
group, but rather as an outsider welcomed with the permission of a heroic
do-gooder. The meme tells an assumed able-bodied audience that they have been
compassionate for making one of “them” feel like one of “us.”
It assumes that the
invitation was born of pity rather than genuine attraction.
The fact that this is flying around social media with
comments such as “WOW. AMAZING! There ARE good people in the world!” means that
whoever made the meme hasn’t even considered that he may have asked the girl to
the prom simply because he liked her.
It says, “We know you wouldn’t really want to be with someone like THAT, so you
must be feeling charitable!” It’s 2016, and yes, people with disabilities have
friends and family members that spend time with them because they want to.
Anyone who asked me to a prom as if I were a community service project would be swiftly turned down. For all we know, maybe she asked him to prom.
Who knows if the
people in this picture even wanted this attention?
It’s more than likely that these two young people were
having a typical night at the prom. It’s more than likely that this young man
didn’t see himself as exceptional, and this couple may not even know they’ve
been made into an Internet commodity. And I use the term commodity very
deliberately because inspiration porn turns people into objects. They exist for
the consumption of an able-bodied audience, not as human beings but as
measuring sticks for others’ morality.
But… PORN? Isn’t that
term a bit provocative?
Yes. I guess it is, but no other term quite captures the
harm of such media. Much like porn in the traditional sense, inspiration porn
puts its subjects (disabled people) on display and exploits them for the
benefit of viewers, often without their consent.
Ultimately, inspiration porn like this meme is produced by a
society that applauds disabled people for existing and worse, makes inclusion
and participation a favor and not a right. I will be liked and loved for
everything I am, not in spite of the parts that the world deems unpalatable.
And if the prom is a metaphor for life, I don’t need an invitation. I’ve
already begun to dance.
Image shows a young man in a tuxedo holding hands with a young woman in a pink dress. They are gazing at each other. The woman is seated in a pink power wheelchair. The text reads: HE ASKED HER TO PROM EVEN IN HER CONDITION! LIKE AND SHARE= RESPECT.
